Ring or no ring?
Some friends and I were chatting last week-end with our girlfriend who will be getting married next summer. While excitedly covering every possible topics (from the dress, to the venue, the hair, the honeymoon and much much more) we came across one that had us unexpectedly perplexed: the wedding band. Will she chose silver? Platinum with diamond? Or even gold? So far so good. What would her fiancé choose? A matching band? A bespoke band? So far so good too. But her short answer was: ‘none’. So far so…what?! She told us her fiancé doesn’t want to wear any ring. He’s not a jewellery guy, he had never worn any (necklaces, bracelets or even piercings) and he made it clear to her that he would not feel comfortable wearing a ring, even a wedding ring. He loves her and will be the happiest man on earth marrying her, a ring on his ring finger will not change that. It took a little while for our friend to come around the idea. What would people think? What message does it convey? But she soon felt her husband-to-be had a valid point and most importantly she wanted to respect his decision. So she will happily wear her ring while her husband will remain jewellery-free post wedding!
Come to think about it, there are many other reasons why people don’t wear their wedding rings. My sister-in-law doesn’t wear a wedding band any more. She is not into jewellery either. She actually lost hers a year or so after getting married. She never thought of getting a new one but as it turned out, she found it again a month later in the freezer! A spouse’s job may simply mean that they can’t wear a ring. ‘They would get trashed’ said a friend who works in construction. While pregnant, my neighbour gained weight and was more comfortable without her ring on. She got used to not wearing it and will only put it back for special occasions. However, It is clear that for a lot of people, the ring was too ‘meaningful’ not to be worn and that it could become a ‘touchy subject’ if a spouse decided otherwise. So while asking around, people who weighed in clearly have strong opinions about this ring or no ring option. But it seems fair to say that either way, it is all about commitment to one another and honouring the wedding vows we’ve made to our spouse that very special day. So ring or no ring, we say choose what makes you happy!